Sometimes I feel like i just can’t win.

My daughter has come home from her dad’s two weeks in a row making me feel like she has a less than favorable opinion of me, which breaks my heart.  Her father has an extreme amount of disgust and despise for me and lately, I feel that those feelings are pouring over to me. 

She came home Friday night and told me that I needed to make sure that we give her shoes back to grandma.  No problem.  She told me this three times within a very small amount of time.  Now today, she informed me that “grandma said that she’s not letting me bring anything else home because you never return it!”.

That broke my heart.

This on top of the fact that I try so hard to “turn the other cheek” so to speak and treat her father with kindness and compassion is starting to really wear me thin.  I know that Jesus did all of these things when he was on Earth and definately withstood far more trouble than I am currently feeling, but it still makes it difficult to deal with.

So, after I read the email from her grandma about how childish she felt i was being (by returning several of their belongings – which included some paper cups that we hadn’t used) i got really upset and decided to take a shower and pray about it.

So I prayed that when i get out of the shower God speak to me through verses that I could find on my computer (since my bible is in the car).  And as always – our kind and loving God delivered for me.

 

Regarding the email i wrote back to her grandma explaining that my intentions weren’t malicious or meant to be immature:

A man of understanding is of a calm spirit. —Proverbs 17:27

Quarrels among believers in Jesus Christ bring dishonor to Him. They create wounds in our brothers and sisters, leaving scars. “It is honorable for a man to stop striving, since any fool can start a quarrel,” says Proverbs 20:3. And “He who has knowledge spares his words” (17:27).

How much better it is when we speak gentle words of peace, not angry words of strife!

Regarding that issue, tonight i just pray that God lay his hand on the hearts of my daughter’s other family in hopes that they will see that i was not meaning to be bad or have poor intentions with sending those items home.  I just pray that God will bring a sense of peace to this situation and that it not blow up into something that it shouldn’t.

Regarding the money situation and whether or not to go to small claims court:

God answered my prayer by providing this information to me:

Christians have the right to collect money owed but only under biblical guidelines. Nevertheless all means, short of a lawsuit, may be pursued in trying to resolve the situation.

(3) Do not sue anyone or use secular methods to collect money owed (see Luke 6:34-38). (4) A Christian must follow biblical principles and guidelines when dealing with a fellow believer who will not pay his or her debt to the lending Christian.

Lord, i just ask that you help me financially to not feel as though i need this money from him.  Help my heart to not feel bitter and to humbly turn the other cheek until the debt is paid to me.  Lord I just ask that you help me fight the negativity that is around me regarding this money and continue to show me the right way thru scripture.

I also want to pray, as I do often for his soul.  I pray that he will be humbled and lose his bitterness towards me Lord, because the older that Bekah gets… the harder it is going to be.

I pray for Joyce regarding the care of her mother, I know that must be difficult and I just ask that you lift her up, give her strength and the health to continue to care for her mother as she ages.

I pray for my sister and her situation, whatever it may be, that you will keep her heart whole and fill it in the places where she feels that it should be filled by Bill.  I ask that you keep her strong for her girls.

I pray for Kim/Adam’s unborn children – I ask that you keep them safe and growing in the most perfect way.  And for Jama/Ryan’s unborn baby… just keep them healthy as they grow inside their mothers.  I know Lord, that you are already knitting them in the way that you want them.

I want to PRAISE you for Sandy’s full recovery.  I just ask that you keep her healthy during this last phase of treatment with radiation.

Also praying for:

-andrew

-my mom (whatever personal struggles she may be facing)

-my grandparents

-cousin jeremy

-erin (job, finances, etc)

-Keith (letter to Clay, circumstances, etc)

In His Name… Amen